Yup!
She was trying to shout and tell me I had to listen to her 
I donāt care about a complaint, not sure who theyād complain to, but more so that Iām not put on one of their lists that gets loads more calls!
Did you backup your seeds?
If you did, you should be able to restore your wallet to any new cold/hot wallet and recover access to your ETHer.
I actually did, on a piece of paper that I canāt seem to find anywhere
Which I suppose is another fault of mine. 3 copies, 2 formats, 1 off-site (and preferably one in the cloud, in an encrypted form)
Thankfully it had no meaningful amount of ETH inside, mostly it just had HUM tokens (Humanity DAO project for giving a UBI via crypto)
Time for a billfodl then:
Thatās actually very tempting, I donāt think my crypto assets are worth enough to stick with a hardware wallet right now though. If I start HODLing several ETH I will move over to one though
Iām still icky about what if HMRC decide Iāve been a bad boy and they want to spank me, or if my bank freezes my account because for some reason I have a good amount of money from coin HODLing
Youāll only be liable to pay tax if you cash out (change your crypto back to GBP) - if you get more GBP than you invested, this is a taxable gain. So leave the crypto in a wallet/exchange and watch it grow.
If you do reach a point where the invested increase is substantial and you need the money in GBP (you know, to buy that Lambo), plan to include giving some of it to the HMRC in your financial calculations.
Unless you are doing something illegal, like allowing someone else to āgiveā you funds and then you pay those funds to someone else, there is no reason for attention from any financial institution or the Police.
Stay clean, invest wisely, live long and prosper 
Not strictly true. It looks like changing from one cryptocurrency to another is also a taxable event.
Check if you need to pay tax when you sell cryptoassets - GOV.UK (www.gov.uk)
You might need to pay Capital Gains Tax when you:
- sell your tokens
- exchange your tokens for a different type of cryptoasset
- use your tokens to pay for goods or services
- give away your tokens to another person (unless itās a gift to your spouse or civil partner)
If you donate tokens to charity, you may need to pay Capital Gains Tax on them.
Makes more sense. Since they essentially class them as a type of asset, any action diluting the assets is subject to CGT as I understand.
I could imagine the bloodbath if HMRC ever decided to seriously collect on all the unreported crypto assets
As someone whoās read HMRCās guidance on crypto, I can tell you thatās not how it works
Even using a DEX to change coin for coin, is considered a taxable event
This is why U.K. crypto tax is so confusing lol
What Iāll probably do is leave it until a new tax year unless it makes a very very good lump sum that I can afford to have a specialist dig through my taxes and the data around them to file my self assessment for me
I did not notice you posted this but thanks 
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With a yearly threshold set (2021/2022 is set at Ā£12.3k), I wonāt be meeting that threshold if I hodl, cash out or exchange tokens, so itās not really a concern. Iād be happy for it to become a concern though!
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I found a really interesting report from 2018 on the Gov.UK website that seems to explain their thinking:
Cryptoassets Taskforce: final report - GOV.UK (www.gov.uk)
Page 12, paragraph 213 (really good Slayer song thatā¦), states:
While cryptoassets can be used as a means of exchange, they are not considered to be a currency or money, as both the Bank of England and the G20 Finance Ministers and Central Bank Governors have previously set out.They are too volatile to be a good store of value, they are not widely-accepted as means of exchange, and they are not used as a unit of account.
It seems to lump all coins together, even ones that are said to be tied to a fiat currency like the US dollar. It would explain why they are taxed the same as equities though.
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Lumping stablecoins into it really isnāt too much of an issue, itās actually pretty good that they do it. Means if a stablecoin provider comes out as illegitimate (like Tether USD said they only held 3% of funds in cold hard cash) then youād be able to offset your loss
Also means that I guess youād pay CGT on crypto interest earnings and not be incl in the savings allowance?